I am Gone
by Kikyo93
Summary: Normally in stories Mark is the depressed one, but in this story it is somebody else. Who? Read to find out. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

I am gone. I have been gone for a couple hours now. Nobody has come looking for me. Not even Angel. Which is perfect I don't know what happened but I just, one day, had the sudden urge to cut myself. I have no clue as to why but it feels SO good. I now know what Mark feels and why he does it.

Mark, he tries hiding it from us, but Roger loves him way too much. I want to be able to feel again. I need to get used to the pain. Everybody will leave me. Even my real blood family has left me. I only have me and my little friend here to depend on.

I decided it was time and held the sharp object over my arm and made a nice deep cut right next to the major veins. I took a deep breathe as the pain rushed over me. I love that feeling, its like heroin its addictive. When you cut you immediately need to cut again. I made another incision right next to that one. It feels so good.

I hear footsteps echoing against the alley walls, but I don't care. I'm on cloud 9. I feel someone take my arm and feel for a pulse. Then I hear a relieved sigh when they find it.

I open my eyes and find myself face-to-face with all of my friends.

"What are you guys doing here. Leave me alone. Go away you cant help me. Its too late" I was trying to scoot away from them but they kept following me.

"We are going to help you. You need help" Roger said. I noticed Mark wasn't there.

"Wheres Mark" I asked. They all looked at Roger who had fire burning in his eyes.

"He is in the hospital. He was cutting himself and he hit the vein. Mark could have died, for the same thing your doing" Roger I noticed had tears streaming down his face.

"Please, get help. I lost April to this, I almost lost Mark, I don't want to loose you too" in all my years I had never heard Roger beg. I looked around at all my friends and my lover and said:

"I will try, but I need your help".

**A/N: I really hope you like it. I was really bored and was listening to depressing music when I wrote this. Please leave a review. I hope you enjoyed.**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This is a second chapter to "I am Gone" and it tells a little about what happened after they found him in the alley. And yes, Angel is alive. Because…because I say so, so there ":sticks tongue out:". As always, Enjoy!

I got up on my feet with my friends help and they helped me to Joanne's car. Luckily she has a caravan. We were just exiting when all the pain from my arm was finally coming known to me and I cringed and held my arm, which Angel immediately slapped away. He has not said a word since they got in the alley, and you must remember that Angel is always talking whether its about clothes or a new beat he came up with. Always talking.

"Hey, Collins. You all right there buddy" Roger asked me. You see, I couldn't walk on my own so I had Angel on one side and Roger on the other with everybody else watching me from the back.

"Huh. Oh yeah, I'm fine" I said to him, and despite the arms and the bleeding and the cutting, I really was fine and Roger knew that.

"No I meant is your arm okay," he pointed to my arm. I guess he saw me wince.

"Yeah, it just hurts and Angel wont let me touch it, or look at it. In fact, he wont let me look at myself. I mean I really want to just hold my arm, Angel I am not going to cut it. For heavens sake, Angel. Even if I was going to cut, I wouldn't do it in front of my friends" I had stopped by then and I was facing Angel. He was looking down and if my hearing was fine I think I could hear crying. Wait, Angel was crying? My Angel was crying, and I made him cry.

"Angel I'm sorry, please don't cry, I am really sorry. Babe please stop crying" I went over, more like limped over I don't know why, and grabbed him and hugged him tight. He grabbed me and cried onto my shoulder.

"I was so scared when I woke up and you weren't there, then I called the loft, then your work. But no one knew where you were, then Mark was admitted to the hospital and all I could think about was what if I never saw you again, you big dummy" he was trying to make a joke, I caught it but it just made me hold him tighter.

"I am really sorry for making you worry, but I couldn't let you see-" "Another question, why did you cut? Why did every night you go outside or in the bathroom and cut? I could have helped you sooner, but I can't help you at all if you don't tell me why?" Angel had stepped back a little to see his face. It was completely guilt stricken.

"I do…I mean did it because it gets me ready for all the pain that is going to come. You all dieing, my blood family dieing, everybody leaving me. The saying 'The bigger they are the Harder they Fall' comes to mind. Our family is big so if we lose one person, we lose more" Collins was using his logic and everybody, for the first time in a while was paying more attention then his class. He liked this attention and the puzzled appearance he left on their face.

We are not going to die anytime soon. The hospital just called and said Mark is stable and he is awake. We can go visit him and see him" Joanne had just closed her cell phone and headed for the car. The others in tow. Angel grabbed back onto Collins and now with more grace and affection helped him back to the car.

And Collins thought '_Everything is going to be okay_'.

**A/N: Sorry for adding another chapter like this even though it was finished but I wanted to get a little more in there. Hope you enjoyed, there might be another chapter depends on my mood. Leave a review if you please. This is a separate story like "_Wait for Me_". **

**Love you with all my heart, **

**Kikyo**


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